Change only happens when we become accountable.
This is not a witch hunt, it’s an awakening; a revolutionary movement to expose abuse of power.
To end abuse of power we must:
1. Teach our children to recognize and fight it from an early age.
2. Have strong and deafening consequences for it.
Abuse of power has no gender. Sexism breathes through the umbilical cord of inequality which spawns abuse of power.
Change starts with equality.
Equals rarely get abused!
One can’t be equal if they feel less than, weaker than, or inferior to: all judgments which need a chiropractic adjustment in perspective.
In order to have equality, we need to understand and eradicate misogyny.
Let’s be honest here. At the heart, misogyny is a reaction of resentment from both men and women to their mothers, the first women in their lives to tell them what to do and how to do it.
And at the heart of abuse of power, is the inner child of every adult not wanting to make Daddy mad.
People endure abuse of power from a place of survival, not admiration (sorry-not sorry to burst that narcissistic bubble for you, Louis CK).
These are broad generalizations but true, nevertheless.
When we can get past the anger and resentment of Mommy, and stop fearing the angry wrath of Dad, we can mature enough to embrace equality and stop the abuse of power.
How do we do that? We grow the Hell up! It’s called maturity through evolution. Our species was designed to be different but equal.
Equality breeds equality.
The more men who become stay at home dads as the primary parents and the more gay male couples who parent without a “mother figure” the less misogyny will be built into automatic nature responses.
The more same sex, lesbian, or gender neutral/ non binary parents-who resist stereo typical mother/ father and male/female roles; the less likely children associate parents- the first people they love and want to please- with misogynistic resentment or abuse of power archetypes, who they may face in the world when they are grown.
Men stop being “men” and women stop being “women” and we all get a chance to just be people who naturally hold within us the yin and the yang, and the male and the female energy; whether you believe it or not.
Your beliefs don’t make or unmake truths, they only strengthen or weaken them.
Equality is evolution, it’s breaking free of the mold that binds.
Some religious sects exists only to control and they do so through miseducation and fear. The religious groups that pimp their daughters out to men like Moore, are doing so based on false information; a faulty belief that men are their leaders because the Bible tells them so.
I fully support anyone’s right to believe in a religion, even if I don’t. What I do not support, is using that religion to defend an abuse of power.
Corruption wins when people become lazy and uneducated. You can’t win an argument if you don’t understand the language being spoken; so let’s dissect that language for a moment and ask the question: is that true?
The Bible says that man is made in God’s image and that woman was made from man. But evolution and biology demonstrate that all humans start as a woman and from XX chromosomes, develop XY chromosomes, and other patterns- (there is scientific evidence that there is more than just two genders). So whose image are we really made from?
If you base Biblical logic, on biological evidence, God is a woman (or a non gender being) and women should start listening to themselves, their intuition, and protecting their children.
If you want to protect your children from becoming victims to abuse of power, you have to stop teaching them to endure it.
You are not protecting your child when you teach them to be quiet and polite little robots.
Parents must stop grooming their children for abuse by forcing them to hug and kiss friends and relatives when they don’t want to; teaching them that their body isn’t theirs to honor, rather, everyone else’s to touch.
Yes, manners matter, when appropriate, and so too, protection matters, when appropriate. Teach your child both!
I have taught my child that if she trusts her intuition she will know when to be polite and when to be protective.
My child knows that expressions of deference to elders stem from a place of respect, that saying, “thank you,” comes innately from a place of gratitude, that saying, “please,” rises inherently from a place of humility. She also knows to question authority regardless if it’s from an elder, to be rude to inappropriate people, and to call creeps out, and take on powerful body language and practice saying things like, “Get back!” “No!” And “Don’t speak to me!”
Her body is her own and she doesn’t have to hug or kiss any family member or friend no matter what they give her or do for her. She doesn’t have to laugh when you make a joke that isn’t funny. She has been given permission and encouragement to be authentic. To practice saying, “Don’t tickle me!” Without feeling the need to give any reason, excuse or justification.
She knows how to discern between being polite and being protective, because we practice that and I model that behavior for her.
We have to support our children when the odd person says something off by normalizing a protective response like, “Don’t speak to me like that, it’s inappropriate!” But our children don’t use that language because we don’t use that language out of fear. Everyone is afraid of ruffling feathers, being inappropriate, and losing their job, etc.
And, there are some forms of abuse we can’t fight off or protect ourselves from. Abuse is never the fault of the victim.
But there are some abuses we can end but choose not to from a place of fear. We allow ourselves to get abused when our survival needs (home, job, etc.) feel threatened. But this is where the power of courage and integrity shine through.
In order to create sustained change, we have to be willing to endure some losses. And when we do, we might feel foolish, frightened, or be vilified for rocking the boat or blamed for the fall out of multiple jobs lost. But we stand up anyway; if not to protect ourselves, to protect the next victim from abuse if we remain silent.
This is the pulse of the matter.
We must learn to be ok with feelings of discomfort that are necessary during times of growth and bravery; and know that this is what makes us the intricate and complex beings we are.
We falsely label each other good or bad, polite or rude, nice or mean; when we are all of those things. This isn’t the 1950s. We are not one dimensional characters.
I am, in general, a very positive, sensitive, loving, and kind person but I do not hesitate standing up for what I believe in, calling BS on people, and calling out anyone or anything that is unjust. This is called integration. It’s learning to be brave enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable because you know you don’t have to be a guarded, hard-ass all the time just to feel protected.
Kindness doesn’t define me, authenticity does, which means sometimes I get called a bitch. When I do, I tend to react one of two ways; either I know I touched a nerve and am doing something right or I hear it the way I would hear any name called out that doesn’t belong to me, mere background noise.
I’m not interested in seeking your approval, therefore, you don’t have the power to manipulate me. I don’t plaster my pictures all over social media to garner likes. My self-worth comes from something much deeper than external approval.
I am not yours to label and neither is my daughter.
I’m not afraid of you and I’m not going to let you bully my child. Just look at the power of courage in #MeToo. The collective power of the masses can turn the tides of change; it has, it does, and it is!
This is my focus during this time of unbearable PTSD triggers for any survivor of abuse: the focus that change is happening. That we are rocking the cart (and maybe even breaking it down) of Male-O-Drama!
Male-O-Drama, is any man who abuses his power to hold another person’s freedom hostage.
This current administration is a Male-O-Drama.
Every mass shooting gunman is a Male-O-Drama.
Each man who is being called out for sexual assault, is a Male-O-Drama.
Car salesmen, Producers, Directors, Doctors, Lawyers, Politicians, Professors, or any man who speaks down to a woman and abuses his power, is a Male-O-Drama.
Domestic violence is Male-O-Drama.
Men who manipulate their families with emotional outbursts that vacillate between violent rages and threatening suicide, are Male-O-Drama.
The Male-O-Drama reign is finally coming to an end. People are waking up, finding strength in numbers and learning how to be comfortable being brave.
We are finally being heard!
Keeping our focus on the outcome that serves us is the key to surviving this traumatic time, this Male-O-Drama madness.
“I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!”
I had a receptionist at a medical office try and mansplain a gynecological issue to me the other day. Daggers must have shot out of my eyes because all I needed to say to him was, “Know your audience and stop talking to me, now!” His measly power was questioned and a grown man threw a clipboard across a counter because I refused to pet his fragile ego… and no part of me, not an iota, felt remorse. That exchange only made my resolve form stronger. It was just a tiny speck in the snow globe of daily interference of Male-O-Drama polluting our world, but one I extinguished in that moment, bringing just enough clarity in the room to light the path for the woman behind me. That’s what it takes to survive: step, after step, after step.
This is another type of survival mode: protecting the human spirit.
Any person who falsely believes they can come at me, or anything I stand for, ought to be prepared for an onslaught of projectile truth vomit guaranteed to burn through and destroy any delusionary garb they wear as reality.
Every fiber in my being is screaming right now, “Don’t mess with me or my child! I will fight back and take you down. I’ve survived just about every loss imaginable in this world; I don’t have anything left to lose, so you don’t scare me. Back up and back off!”
Men would be wise to fall into supportive formation, right about now. This is your time to protect and defend the women and children in your life. I read one story where a woman stated that having a boyfriend stand up for her on a college campus did more to protect her than the police she notified. It’s time for everyone to be brave. To step up! To respect! And if you can’t step up, then step aside because my angry ass is weary and my patience has run dry.